Thursday, October 27, 2011

Dreaming of...Rebecca...

Last night I dreamt I went to Manderley again. The drive wound away from me, twisting and turning as it had always done......
But in my dream, I had it all to do over again and I did things a little differently.

First, I would tell that old biddy I was forced to work for to mind her own bee's wax. Max was hot for me and I for him and I was sick of cleaning cigarette butts out of cold cream jars.
Second, I would have sexed it up a bit with Maxim. Having him think of me as a wallflower was a mistake.
But, most important of all, I would settle a score with my old lunatic housekeeper, Mrs. Danvers.
Cute, isn't she?

You only saw her face. Let me tell you, a
Tic Tac would have gone a long way here.
When I dropped my gloves, I would have made HER pick them up.
When she started to rub Rebecca's clothes all  over my face, I would have slapped her and told her to remember her place.
I would have demanded the room with the best view, no matter who its previous inhabitant was.
I think we could knock out a wall here....
And when she told me to jump, I would have said "you first."
Again, the breath was pulverizing.
I would have ordered new linens for all of the beds and discarded any that still had that old "R" on them.
Only non-flammables at Manderley from now on
I would NEVER have taken costume advice from her.
And I would have hidden all of the matches when I was not at home.
I never liked the castle-style, anyway.
I was thinking more of a colonial or split level next time.
Oh - and one last thing. I would have told Maxim to lighten up a bit. After all, he got away with murder!
Clearly, Maxim.....
There must be more of this! 


  1. Love the Tic-Tac comment!

  2. I bless the day I found your blog. You make me laugh out loud every time. (Today's LOL moment was the Tic Tac. Hilarious!)

  3. You should probably also get around to telling someone your name. Your husband, especially. Part of the awkwardness of your early relationship might have to do with that. Murmuring "Hey, you" and "New Wife" softly in your ear probably put a bit of a damper on the romance for Maxim.

  4. @ Valarie - I imagine her breath was pretty foul. She did not seem like the type to keep the mints handy.

  5. Thank you, Martin. You made my day, too!

  6. You know, Laura, I was going to add that. Actually, you can just call her "Mrs. De Winter."