Thursday, October 27, 2011

Dreaming of...Rebecca...

Last night I dreamt I went to Manderley again. The drive wound away from me, twisting and turning as it had always done......
But in my dream, I had it all to do over again and I did things a little differently.

First, I would tell that old biddy I was forced to work for to mind her own bee's wax. Max was hot for me and I for him and I was sick of cleaning cigarette butts out of cold cream jars.
Second, I would have sexed it up a bit with Maxim. Having him think of me as a wallflower was a mistake.
But, most important of all, I would settle a score with my old lunatic housekeeper, Mrs. Danvers.
Cute, isn't she?

You only saw her face. Let me tell you, a
Tic Tac would have gone a long way here.
When I dropped my gloves, I would have made HER pick them up.
When she started to rub Rebecca's clothes all  over my face, I would have slapped her and told her to remember her place.
I would have demanded the room with the best view, no matter who its previous inhabitant was.
I think we could knock out a wall here....
And when she told me to jump, I would have said "you first."
Again, the breath was pulverizing.
I would have ordered new linens for all of the beds and discarded any that still had that old "R" on them.
Only non-flammables at Manderley from now on
I would NEVER have taken costume advice from her.
And I would have hidden all of the matches when I was not at home.
I never liked the castle-style, anyway.
I was thinking more of a colonial or split level next time.
Oh - and one last thing. I would have told Maxim to lighten up a bit. After all, he got away with murder!
Clearly, Maxim.....
There must be more of this! 

Friday, October 21, 2011

Dreaming of... The Parent Trap

This is the very first movie I ever wanted to be "in." 

Mainly, I wanted to speak like Hayley Mills.
Suddenly, I became "veddy" British. After all, if Hayley's mother could live in Boston and speak with an American accent,
and her dad could live in California and speak with an American accent,
then, it stands to reason that the product of an American woman crossed with an American man (that would be me) could speak like a Brit.
I was also mesmerized by Hayley's hair,
her cute little nose and, most of all
her name. Hayley. It was magical! I truly wanted to change my name to Hayley. Why couldn't my mom give me a cool name like that?
And ever after,I never stopped dreaming and still haven't to this day, of the wonderful role-model-teen-ager of my time, the fabulous Hayley Mills.

But, one more thing....

In my dreams, the child protective services were called and the twin's parents were locked up and put in jail for being total jerks. I mean, really, what parents keep siblings apart for their entire lives like 2 sides to an oreo cookie? 
The real "Parent Trap" for those 2 doo doo birds.

Sunday, October 16, 2011

Dreaming of...Gaslight

He was a most charming devil at the start; quite sexy and a very good kisser.
Very kissable lips, I must say.
But it was all a charade. I would have liked to have kept him around for a bit of fun, but, if I had to to do over again, I would:

1. Fire that little baggage that passed as a maid. Who needs her around making goo-goo eyes at my man?
Pack your bags, sister.
2. Go to that darn reception without him. After all, I looked so nice.
I was armed to charm.
3. Pay more attention to that nice Scotland Yard man (who seems to like me, too)
I should have held out for him, but who knew?
4. Learn more about how the lighting system in my house works.
Note to self: find out more about this new-fangled electricity.
5. Say  "how the hell should I know where the little picture and the damn brooch are?" when accused by this increasingly psycho-husband.
Hey! Hands off, deadbeat. When's the last time
you brought in a paycheck????
6. Tie him up and tell him that I just can't stand his friggin' accent anymore. My name is PAULA, not POWLA.
Shut your escargot-hole, Mister.
7. Thank him for finding the jewels. Now Scotland Yard man and I can run away to a non-foggy location.
Trade this

for this!

8. Tell the neighbor that her worst suspicions are true - I am a slut (just to get her nosy-nose all out of joint).
And, yes, I say that with glory in my heart!
One last regret: I should have had more portraits with handsome husband taken. We were pretty cute together, weren't we? 
If only he hadn't been so nuts.....

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Dreaming of...City Lights

When I was blind, I dreamed of my benefactor. I could not see him, but I knew:

He was kind.
He was a gentleman.
He was a Captain of Industry.
He was generous.
He loved art.
He was a great athlete.
He had important friends.
And above all, he had a tender heart.
And now that I can see,
I see that he is all that and more.

He made my dreams come true. 

Friday, October 7, 2011

Dreaming of... Rear Window...

Oh to be Lisa Carol Fremont (otherwise known as Grace Kelly)! It's a sexy, glamorous dream.....
First, I have a neat, if slightly reluctant boyfriend.
We do things together!
He lives in an interesting apartment complex.
He has a cool nurse who happens to like me (says I'm loaded with love to my fingertips - nice).
I know the waiter at "21" by name and get him to make deliveries.
I can plant stories in Walter Winchell's column.
I warm brandy for my boyfriend.
I have a tiny Mark Cross overnight bag.

And, most important of all, I have one kick-ass, drop-dead-glamorous, fabulous wardrobe!

Did I mention I look good all the time every time?
I have eclectic reading tastes
Did I mention I always look fabulous?
Lisa... Carol... Fremont: Girl Detective, Fashionista, Domestic Goddess, Girlfriend.